Getting Past “Fine”: How to get your kids to talk about their day at school.
Posted: September 16, 2024 | Written By: Sharmin Hossain | Category:
Written by Nathan Fesmire, Rivermont Schools Lynchburg South Campus
“How was your day?”
“Fine.”
Whether your student is a special education student or not, you know the drill. Your kid gets in the car or walks in the door, and you ask how the day went. You want more. You want details!
“What was fine about it?” You ask further.
“Nothing.”
If you would like to get past the “fine” and onto something with more substance, here is one simple way to structure questions so that your kids’ responses automatically give you a better picture of what their day was like or at least what they thought about their day.
Rate the Day
The problem with the question “how was your day?” is that it’s too open-ended. Instead try this question,
“On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your day?”
“A seven,” your child replies.
Now, instead of being able to reply with vague concepts, they can now measure their day. That means they must evaluate the good and bad things about the day and decide how to quantify it. You’ll understand their thinking process when you ask the next follow-up questions:
“What made it a seven? What would have made it a nine or ten?”
In responding to this question, your child now must explain what good things happened to make the day a seven, what good things didn’t happen, and/or what negative things happened to keep the score from being higher.
This question also allows parents to see what their kids value. If a student rates one day a nine because of a field trip and a different day an eight because of a perfect spelling test, this difference suggests that your child values interactive experiences more than academic achievement.
As a result, parents now have a better idea of how to encourage their kids through difficult things, and they have a better idea of what passions they can help foster.
If you’d like to get past the “fine” with your kids, try getting them to rate the day.